I know I’m bluffing… Forgive me if you can’t understand what I try to say…
Is it because of the exam? I don’t know. I feel sad today after coming back from Jing Shuang’s room. I always believe that eating chocolates help me feel better when I’m down, but today it’s doesn’t help either.
I really need someone to talk to, a close friend, who I can confide in without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. But I don’t think I’ve found him/her yet. I once had a friend in matriculation. She is my best friend of all my best friends! I could tell her anything, from my favorite clothes to my deepest secret. But then it’s the graduation and she’s now in UPM with her new friends and I with mine.
Will I be able to find someone like her again in UKM? I hope by then I could have someone to talk to when I have troubles. Maybe I always give the others impression that I’m a very funny and happy person. I try to make people laugh whenever I’m with them, because I feel happy too when I see them smile! But it’s not that I won’t feel sad. I try to conceal it within me only because I don’t want people to think that I’m very emotional or weak.
Sometimes I have feeling that I’m different from the others. I feel weird being an 18-year-old girl in university. People around me always change since primary school. I skipped Standard 4 and make new friends, and then I went secondary school and make new friends there in Kuala Kangsar. After graduation, I went Matriculation College in Negeri Sembilan alone and again I make new friends there. Now I’m here in UKM while most of my friends in UPM and some of my friends still dealing with STPM. My friends always say I’m very lucky because I’m still very young! But I don’t like people treating me like a little girl… I know I’m not mature enough, but I’ll try to do my best! Just don’t forget about me… I’ll try to meet more people and be more sociable; just don’t forget about me…
4 comments:
Well, you are definitely young and ppl treat you young is definitely shud be a good thing lai de...and the thing about changing of friends...I know how you feel, and i'm still dealing with it right now. But I want you to know that you are not alone in this problem...everyone is, it's just diff with that person who experiencing it and how he or she deal with it...I don't actually know how help you...but hope you all the best to it....
Will pray for you. =)
Gee, sorry for addressing you as 'Gi Na Sai' so often. I honestly hope I am not a source of your melancholy :p Anyway, all the very best of luck with your finals!
Eugene, don't worry, you're not the source of my melancholy... Calling me 'gi na sai' is no big deal... Anyway, thanks for your concern. ^^
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